Let’s get one thing straight here, right off the bat: This kale guacamole is still firmly rooted in the AVOCADO camp of guacamoles.
I’ve seen a lot of weirdo guacamoles (no judgement, just … observation) floating around the interwebs these days. I basically lump them all into two categories: still guacamole, or green dip masquerading as guac. The latter tends to forget “avocado” in the ingredients list. This, my friends, is part of the former! FIRMLY in the avocado camp, just with some kale hidden in it to make you feel like it’s okay to demolish an entire bowl of this by yourself for dinner. I mean, that is okay, right? I’m asking for a friend…
I like to think that IF (heaven forbid) my (future) kids are picky eaters, I’ll be clever enough to sneak veggies into their diet like this. I also like to think I won’t allow my offspring to be picky in the first place, but I’m guessing all of you with kids are laughing at me already, so I’ll be open to the possibility that *maybe* I have a future of hiding kale in guacamole and cauliflower in mashed potatoes. I know there are whole blogs about this kind of veggie deception sorcery! Mostly though, this is just for fooling myself. I mean my friend. The one who wants to eat this whole bowl for dinner…
You could make this with spinach! I’ve done it! It’s delicious. I guess you really could make it with whatever greens you have on hand — collard greens, beet greens, swiss chard… I see no reason to stop with kale and spinach! And I’ve already given you plenty of guacamole tips, but in case you weren’t paying attention in gauc 101: YOU DO YOU, BOO! Add more spice if you want it! Or, (break my heart), omit the spice altogether! Want it more limey? Add more lime. Want to put some cojita on there? YEAH GURL! Ever put smoked paprika or some adobo sauce in there? TRY IT OMG. Lemme know what weirdo creations you come up with. Maybe we can have a guac-off.
- Prep Time: 5 mins
- Cook Time: 5 mins
- Total Time: 10 minutes
- ½ white onion
- ½ jalapeño* (optional, seeds in or out)
- ½ cup fresh cilantro leaves
- 3 garlic cloves
- 1 Tbsp lime juice
- 3 cups torn kale leaves
- 3 large avocados
- ¾ tsp salt
- ½ tsp fresh ground black pepper
- In a food processor or blender, combine the onion, jalapeño, cilantro, garlic, lime juice, and kale. Pulse until chopped into pieces the size of your small fingernail.
- Add the avocados (peeled and pitted), plus salt and pepper. Pulse until you reach your desired consistency! Add more salt, pepper, and lime juice to taste.