Rocky Road Brownies

You all know that I am a bit of a data freak. When it comes to running, or blogging, I like numbers. I love Google Analytics, and often amuse myself by looking through the list of what people have searched for, resulting in their arrival at The Kitchen Paper. Sometimes I see, with Google Analytics Real-Time Keywords, what people who are CURRENTLY on my site have searched. Occasionally, they'll search something that I REALLY WANT TO ANSWER. I know what page they're looking at, where in the world they are, how many times they've visited my site before {yes, I see you all!}, what kind of browser they're using, and all sorts of other creepy data; however, I can't just have a conversation with them and tell them that yes, it is okay to eat two scones for breakfast. I won't judge you. Oh, your zucchini fritters are falling apart? Well try adding an egg, unless they're already too liquidy — then add some bread crumbs and/or flour.

I thought I'd share with you a small sliver (I could give you THOUSANDS!) of the search queries I've seen, along with my response to said Googler. or Binger. or Whateverer. These are unedited, so exactly what they actually searched for. Some of these are just plain hilarious, or weird, but others baffle me in the sense that I don't know how such a query would lead to The Kitchen Paper!

• is caps lock yelling — YES. DON'T DO IT UNLESS YOU MEAN IT.
• is cookie butter good for you — Obviously. Good for your soul. Not your waistline.
• is eating paper bad for you — Uuum?
• is too much sushi bad for you — Too much sushi? No. No such thing.
• is vanilla a feeling — ... I have no words.
• it's friday we made it — HURRAH!
• im a banana — That is curious...
• im a potato — Wait, I thought you were a banana?
• im a carrot — Hold it: you can be neither a vegetable nor a fruit — what's with these people?
• im getting married in the morning — Congratulations!  What are you hoping to learn from Google at this point?
• im hangry — SEND FOR HELP!  I suggest something quick and easy!
• i'm the goat — The goat? Can you give me some goat cheese?
• i'm on a diet omg chocolate — Spastic much? I feel ya.
• i'm not a paper cup — Your sense of identity is truly amazing.
• i'm not always right but when i am it's usually all of the time — ME TOO!!
• i'm jiggy with it — Na na na na na na na!
• i'm a freaking taco picture —  I have no clue what you mean by this, but I love tacos, so I'll roll with it.
• i does exercise i gets cookie — Apart from your grammatical blunders, yes, I totally agree!

• how to say your welcome in spanish — Again, the grammar is killing me.
• how to put makeup on properly — I am certainly not the right person to ask, so why you arrived at my site is a serious wonder.
• how to make chocolate shoes — DO THESE EXIST!?!
• how to eat smoked salmon — Put in mouth. Chew. Swallow.
• good turtle names — Franklin. Yertle. Donatello.
• whoopsies — Again, how did this lead you to my site?
• where the f@*! are my cookies — {I edited that one} I guess you'd better make some more...
• where do marshmallows come from — When a mommy and a daddy marshmallow love each other very much... Or like this.
• what is cookie butter — Only the nectar of the gods.
• muffins are just ugly cupcakes — Shh!!! Don't let them hear you!!

Well, Googlers: You certainly are a diverse bunch! I do occasionally get a comment from a Googler who has had their question answered, and for that I am glad! You haven't Googled for nothing!

Onto the brownies. I LOVE rocky road ice cream, like really love love rocky road ice cream, so I figured rocky road brownies would be amazing. I was right. They were SO good! I'm not sure why I haven't made them before... they're really just normal brownies, with almonds and marshmallows and extra chocolate — pretty darn simple, and yet SO SO DELICIOUS! I started with my favorite fudge brownie recipe, and went from there. End of the story? These were a huuuuge success. Get on it!

Rocky Road Brownies

• Author: by Mary
• Prep Time: 15 mins
• Cook Time: 45 mins
• Total Time: 1 hour

Print Recipe

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Ingredients

Units USM Scale 1x2x3x

• ½ cup unsalted butter
• 1 cup sugar
• ⅔ cups Dutch-process cocoa
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 Tbsp vanilla extract
• 2 large eggs
• ½ tsp baking powder
• ¾ cups all-purpose flour
• ⅔ cup chocolate chips
• 1 cup almonds, chopped
• 1 cup mini marshmallows
• ½ cup chocolate chips
• ½ cup heavy cream

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Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 325 F, and lightly grease an 8×8″ pan.
2. In a saucepan over medium-low heat, melt the butter.
3. Once melted, add the sugar and cook for another minute.
4. Remove from heat and add the cocoa and salt. Stir to combine.
5. Add the vanilla, and then the eggs one at a time. Whisk fully so that the mixture is smooth and glossy.
6. In a separate bowl, combine the baking powder and flour. Add to the wet ingredients, mixing until just combined.
7. Stir in the chocolate chips (if you want them fully intact, let the mixture cool 10 minutes before doing this step) and ½ of the almonds.
8. Spread the mixture into the prepared pan and cook for 35 minutes – the top should have a thin crust, but the center will still be quite moist.
9. Let cool substantially before proceeding.
10. Heat the heavy cream in the microwave until almost boiling. Remove, add remaining chocolate chips, and let sit for 90 seconds.
11. Stir the cream and chocolate chips until completely smooth. Let cool slightly (it will thicken as it cools).
12. Spread the marshmallows and remaining chopped nuts over the top of the brownies, then pour the ganache over top. Let set at least one hour before slicing, preferably more.

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Notes

I've started using the microwave instead of the stovetop for brownies — I melt the butter in a large pyrex measuring cup, then add the sugar and microwave another 20 seconds. From there, I proceed as the recipe says!
If you want, you can add half of the marshmallows to the batter as well. I found that they melted and disappeared, so it really wasn't noticeable, so I didn't include that as part of the recipe.