We're gonna get serious for a moment here. I’ve been putting off writing this post for quite a while now. This blog has been ridiculously impersonal lately because I’ve been going through a really challenging time in my life. I struggle to write anything real on these pages, as I try so hard to bury the reality of my life at the moment. It’s uncomfortable for me, and probably noticeable to you, so I figure I’d better just get it out there and be real with you: I’m going through a divorce.
I won’t go into details, because that’s not what this blog is about, but I want to be able to talk to you guys about what’s actually happening in my life, including my struggles. Some of you have noticed the we/our/us changed to I/my/me a while back. You also saw me move home, to Portland, in an abrupt end to my year in Asia — our year in Asia. It has felt so odd to not give any explanation! So now I’m back. And sometimes it’s really hard. And while I keep things jolly here, sometimes I really want to tell you that I’m having a tough day. Because I do have tough days — where I can’t find the motivation to do anything other than binge-watch Netflix and eat my weight in cheese. I guess those are pretty normal breakup things, but feeling like I have to hide them makes it all the weirder. I’ve been hibernating at my mom’s house for just over a month, battling a range of emotions — embarrassment, anger, fear, heartache — and feeling really inauthentic in my blogging. So, I’m sorry for that. Thanks for being patient with me.
All things considered, I really am doing well. I’m feeling optimistic, calm, grounded — sometimes downright joyful — about what my life holds in the present and future. I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned and experiences I’ve had. I’m moving forward with my life — I’ll share details soon (like new apartment stuff! I moved in yesterday!) — and making the best of a really painful situation. I’ve been overwhelmed with the love and support I’ve received from friends, family, and even strangers. Weird, yes, but so great to know that no matter what: I have people. I have love in my life, from so many sources, and that will never change. I can’t even begin to talk about what a huge help my yoga and meditation practice have been — the last year of diving deep into both of them has prepared me in the best way to face this divorce with as much sanity and peace as I can. I’m so grateful.
I’m not sure how much, if at all, I’ll really talk about this with all of you, but I wanted to open the door and let you know that I am a real person. I hope I’ll be able to share my life, as it evolves and inevitably has ups and downs, while keeping this space joyful and fun.
With all of that said {thank you all for listening!}, you should probably brace yourselves for some single-lady recipes coming up. I’m cooking for one, and I know I’m not the only one! This recipe, single serving chocolate chip cookie dough, is pretty perfect. Of course I’m coming from a “I’m going through a breakup and therefore can eat whatever the heck I want” standpoint (right? is that allowed? I think so), but I’m guessing everyone has a night here or there where all they need is a nice big spoonful of cookie dough. So here you go: a simple recipe to make a decent amount (read: not a small spoonful, but not total gluttony) of good ol’ chocolate chip cookie dough. No eggs, no baking, no beating hard butter with a spoon.
And if any of you are having one of those "I need some sugar and chocolate and netflix for HOURS" kinds of days ... You're not alone. I'm right there with you, and I'm 100% sure it does get better. Especially with chocolate and butter and sugar. Just sayin'...
Print
Single Serving Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
- Prep Time: 5 mins
- Total Time: 5 minutes
- Yield: 1 1x
Ingredients
- 2 Tbsp unsalted butter
- 1 Tbsp white sugar
- 2 Tbsp brown sugar
- pinch of salt
- splash of vanilla
- 2 tsp milk
- ⅓ cup flour
- 2 Tbsp chocolate chips (or more...)
Instructions
- In a small bowl or mug, melt the butter halfway in the microwave. Take it out and stir with a spoon to fully melt it — we're going for a slightly thicker than 100% melted consistency.
- Stir in the sugars, and pinch of salt. (At this point if you want to put it in the fridge for 5 minutes you'll get a better texture, but that's optional).
- Add the splash of vanilla and the milk, and stir to combine. Gently stir in the flour, then the chocolate chips.
- Enjoy!
Maggie says
Hi Mary,
I don't know if you remember me, but I'm a friend of Amanda's. We met in Bozeman once, right after your wedding, you told me about your blog, and I've been reading ever since! I wanted to send you some support and encouragement and say thanks for your authenticity during what I imagine is a really painful time. I've wondered what was up with the sudden end to your time in Asia but since I don't really know you except for this blog I didn't think it was my place to ask or speculate. Speaking your truth is always an act of courage so I wanted to thank you for that. Sending you positive thoughts from Bozeman!
Maggie
Mary says
Of course I remember you, Maggie! Thanks so much for the note and the support — it has been incredible to see the love and support I still have in my life, from near and far! So, thank you. I was in Bozeman last weekend to say goodbye and get my stuff, and see snow for the first time in a year ... hopefully you guys have better spring weather this week! Thanks again for the kind words! xo
Katie says
I love this Mary, you're awesome!
Also, holler for single recipes. This cookie dough business is my life in a nutshell. Can't wait to try it when I get home!!
Mary says
Thanks, Katie! 🙂 YOU'RE AWESOME TOO! xoxo
Kim says
Your fearlessness and authenticity are a complete inspiration. Be it your crafty sushi salad and tasty butter chicken (which has turned into a weekly staple!), upbeat attitude and ability to trudge through many a mile of long trail runs and passion to fight for what brings you joy, you motivate openness and superbly tasty good cooking in many!!
Mary says
Thank you, Kim!! I wish you were here to get me back in shape for those long trail runs — they're more trudge than run at this point! So great to see you last weekend! xo
Erin says
Being open about hard life changes with the whole giant world via a blog is probably not easy, but it is great to read that you are doing well. You are awesome and I know you have lots of amazing things in your future! Sending you lots of positive thoughts!
I also love the idea of this recipe since I have about negative 10% willpower and cannot make a normal size batch of cookies as I will eat them all. But sometimes, you just need those cookies!!
Erin says
Or cookie dough rather 🙂
Mary says
Thanks so much, Erin! I'm feeling confident about my future too — glad we're on the same page! I really appreciate the support... and commiserate on the negative 10% willpower. It's an issue! xo
Meredith {MarthaChartreuse} says
Being open and honest is extremely brave. We live in a world where people are constantly broadcasting a visual barrage of "perfection" where everything is #blessed. I can only imagine how much more challenging that makes this loss.
Let me know if you want to take the cookie tour on the road! Maybe a Portland cookie crawl??
Mary says
Thanks, Meredith! I actually laughed out loud at your use of #blessed — SO TRUE.
I am ALWAYS up for a cookie crawl! I suspect you will teach me many things about good food in this town... can't wait!! xo
Lindsay @ The Live-In Kitchen says
I am so sorry to hear this Mary! I'm glad you're doing fairly well and getting plenty of cookie dough. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. If you want to take any single lady adventures to Wisconsin this summer, I'll be here! 😉
Mary says
Thanks, Lindsay!! Cookie dough = lifesaver. Fo reals. I'll let you know if the single lady wagon heads your way — it would be great to see you (and your growing belly!)!! xo
tomate farcie says
This is the crappy part of a life, but it is a part of life. And I know it's cliché but tie you will be a stronger and better person for it. Thanks for keeping us in on all of your travels! I'd definitely love seeing a cooking for one on weekly basis! Take good care! Gros bisous!
Mary says
Thanks so much for the kind words! Maybe I'll make a single lady sunday post! Or something... 🙂
Elizabeth says
I'm so glad you are home safe and in a place that can help you heal. I thought I had missed blog posts where you spoke of your return home. I'm really appreciative that you shared with us. I've been with you for a few years (3 more?!) now and I'm invested in your life too. Take good care and share when your ready. This is a wonderful group.
Mary says
Thanks so much, Elizabeth!! Glad to have you here!
Hillary says
We love you muchly! Your strength is so evident, as is your willingness to grow and learn and share as you go. (And just because you're strong doesn't preclude cookie dough consumption, obviously!!) I've been loving your videos and can't wait to hear/see more about your new digs, too! Big hugs <3
Mary says
Thank you Hillary!! Glad to have you guys in my life! xo
Jo Ann Dill says
Thank you for sharing. You are obviously a very strong woman.
"Always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think!"
Christopher Robin to Winnie The Pooh.
I'm glad you seem to have turned the corner to happier days.
Mary says
Thank you so much for the kind words, Jo Ann!! I appreciate the support! xo
Katherine says
Hey Mary. I just came across this while stalking your gorgeous instagram feed. So appreciate your real talk and so proud of all you're doing. I think the world of you! Lots of love.
Mary says
Hey Kat!! So glad you're stalking! Hehe. Thanks for the kind words — I'm glad to have the love! Hope you're well! Xoxo
Jamieanne says
I was looking for a super sweet and quick dessert and this one fit the bill perfectly! So easy to whip up and soooo yummy!! Thank you so much! 🙂
Mary says
Yay! Thanks, Jamieanne — so glad you enjoyed it! xo
Larkspur says
This was so yummy. Totally will make again. However, be sure to bake the flour before adding at 350 F for like 3-5 min so it will kill any germs.